If there is one thing I cannot stand, it’s when people play the victim-game, which was coined as ‘The Olympics of Suffering’ by my friend Jedd. I’m not talking about actual victims talking about their experiences, because I think that’s brave and worthwhile and thought-provoking and can be life-changing. 

What I am talking about comes in two different scenarios.

Scenario 1:
I complain about something.
Person B says, “Oh yeah, well it could be worse. THIS IS WHAT’S HAPPENING TO ME AND IT’S SO MUCH WORSE THAN WHAT’S HAPPENING TO YOU.”

Scenario 2:
Person A complains about something all day and when I try to give friendly advice or make he or she see a bright side to a situation he or she says, “Well you just don’t know what it’s like. MY LIFE IS SO MUCH HARDER THAN YOURS, AND YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND, AND IF YOU WERE IN MY SHOES YOU WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION LIKE I AM RIGHT NOW.”

Here’s the thing about complaining, everyone: It. Can. Always. Be. Worse. My philosophy on this is that just because it can always be worse doesn’t give anyone any less right to complain about something that is bothering them. Complaining can be cathartic and most of the times makes me feel validated and less crazy for complaining about little, petty things. But what I don’t like is when people turn complaining into a competition for who has it worse. Because life can be really fucked up sometimes and someone always has it worse than you. And playing the victim-game doesn’t seem all that healthy to me and goes back a theory I agree with about how co-ruminating and being negative all the time leads to depression, especially in women.

Ok. I’m done ranting.